New Moon on the Water by Dark Regions Press

Author:Dark Regions Press
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: mort castle, new moon on the water

III.

If it can be said that I am capable of surprise, I am often surprised by all that I know and by all that I do not know:

For example, I can intelligently discuss existentialism, possibly win an argument with Jean-Paul Sartre himself if need be. (Existence before essence, yes, albeit not in my case.) Let the subject turn to the aesthetics of cinematography, and I will explain the importance of the Eisenstein montage and the Gance panorama. Shall we focus on the universal themes of Osip Mandelstam's modernist poetry or the immensity of suffering in Picasso's "Guernica" or the myriad subtleties of vocal shading in the performances of June Christie?

Marilyn needed me to be smart, to be intellectual and artistic. You were no dunce, Marilyn, no dimbulb bimbo, no sack-ready starlet with a VACANCY sign on her forehead and HOT TO TROT on her round heels. You needed intellect and that is what I became (in part!) and what I am.

I am your need.

Yet I have no idea how to write a check. That is because you had others to take care of that. On an afternoon kiddy TV show, I heard the word “hygrometer”; I have no concept of what it is, what it does, why it is needed, anymore than do you. You thought Sukarno was the president of India, not Indonesia; you had no idea of the history, the culture, or even the location of either country and so, neither do I.

And of course I had to be "political" because you were involved in your own way in politics. I guess you would have to call me a Democrat. Here I always aver, Marilyn, to your reasoning:

Jack is a damned clever politician and progressive thinker and not such a bad lay, say a six or seven, but he's more in love with himself than he could ever be with anyone else (poor Jackie, poor, poor Jackie), or with the country for that matter and Bobby Kennedy is a good man, usually, even if being Catholic has made him nuttier than most Catholics, and he is so smart that he doesn't feel threatened by a smart woman and so it's good to talk to him and he is a good politician and maybe he will be able to help people the way he wants and maybe Jack can help him, if Jack's ego will permit IT, and you know what is really nice is that Bobby really does love his wife and kids, so no matter how bad he wants to put it to Marilyn! Monroe! and wants to even more because Big Brother has greased the gears, no matter what, Bobby probably won't do it—and you do have to respect a man who won't fuck you ...

Here is what else I know, Marilyn.

You needed me.

And when the need was powerful enough, when it was pure ferocity of need, then, like magic, like dream, like aneurism or lottery, like the roll of the dice, the whirl of the Great Mandela

I am.

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